Yo, Rebound Degens!

This is the Hodl Report, where we forgive, forget, and FOMO right back in - because love can be temporary, but ATHs are forever! 💘📈

This week we’re reviewing:

• Macro check-in: The vibes, the rates, the chaos 🌎

• Big news, minus the boring 📰

• Memes for emotional liquidity 😂

Let’s fire it up - hopium obviously included.

Another week, another panic attack in the markets.

Another dip, another chance to load up.

Did you buy it yet? 🛒

There’s still time. ⌛

Last week it was Trump and Elon breaking up (then making up this week), sending markets into a temporary spiral. Takes us back to that classic 90s breakup-makeup jam… back when music had soul and boy bands had frosted tips and feelings. They just don’t make music like that anymore… 🎶

This week?

Israel’s hitting Iranian nuclear sites and the market’s panicking again. You can bet that prices will recover shortly.

Next week?

Who knows, maybe Powell sneezes wrong or Trump mentions the T-word again.

The good news?

None of this has changed the core fundamentals of the crypto bet we’ve all made… but it does provide some good dip-buying opportunities.

Bitcoin is still scarce. Adoption is still rising. Governments are still embracing it (even if they don’t know why yet), and corporations are stacking sats like it’s their job. This week, these companies announced sat stacking plans:

So what do we do when the headlines scream and the candles bleed red?

We do what every smart trader does:
📉 Buy the dip
📈 Take profits
🟠 Stack sats

Next week is stacked with potential macro drama (G7, BoJ rate decision, FOMC, Powell) so don’t be surprised if there’s more volatility. But that means another potential opportunity to buy discounted conviction.

And if you’ve been wondering “wen altseason?” - you’re not alone.

One analyst thinks history’s about to rhyme again and has his eyes on June 15 as the kickoff date.

Grab your watchlist and sharpen your bids!

This market moves fast.

Stay alert. Stay orange-pilled.

And remember: when others panic, we press buy.

1.  Polymarket Announces Official Partnership: Polymarket has unveiled an official partnership to expand real-world adoption of its blockchain-based prediction markets. The collaboration is aimed at legitimizing onchain betting platforms within regulated industries.

2. SEC Begins Review Process for Solana ETF Filings: The SEC has acknowledged and begun the formal review of spot Solana ETF applications. Analysts say this marks a key milestone in expanding ETF access beyond Bitcoin and Ethereum.

3. Metaplanet Aims to Buy 210,000 BTC With $5.4B Raise: Metaplanet’s recent $5.4 billion equity raise is part of a plan to accumulate up to 210,000 Bitcoin, or roughly 1% of total supply. The firm is fast becoming Japan’s answer to MicroStrategy.

4. Tucker Carlson Interviews Telegram CEO Pavel Durov: Telegram CEO Pavel Durov appeared on Tucker Carlson’s show, advocating for Bitcoin, encryption, and financial freedom. Durov warned of government overreach and praised crypto as a resistance tool.

5. Trump Teases Bold Crypto Plans at Coinbase Conference: Donald Trump made a surprise appearance at Coinbase's conference, promising pro-crypto policies and “freedom money for Americans.” The speech sparked bullish sentiment across U.S.-based digital assets.

6. SharpLink Gaming Stock Crashes 66% After $463M ETH Bet Revealed: SharpLink Gaming’s stock plunged 66% after reports emerged it placed a $463 million Ethereum bet, stunning Wall Street. Investors reacted sharply to the company’s unexpected crypto exposure.

Big thanks for making it to the end of this week’s Hodl Report! 👊

If you enjoyed the ride, had a good laugh or learned a thing or two, feel free to share the love! Just copy/paste this link over to anyone:

HodlReport.com/Subscribe

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Happy Friday!

Disclaimer: The content from Hodl Report should not be taken as trading, investment or financial advice or solicitation to buy or sell any assets. This newsletter is for informational and educational purposes only. Please be careful out there and DYOR (do your own research)