Ahoy Crypto Captains!

You’ve anchored at the Hodl Report, where we chart a course through the crypto waves and fish for the big gains! 🧭🎣

Here’s what we have for you this week:

• Crypto weather report ☀️🌧️

• Weekly highlights 📰 🌶️

• The naughty list 🎅🚫

• Wholesome fun 😆 🤣
  

Another week, another wild ride in Crypto Land - dips, recoveries, and more dips than a Super Bowl party. Sentiment's flipping faster than a pancake, and the market’s like a rollercoaster operated by a caffeine-fueled squirrel. 🐿️☕

Here’s what’s driving the chaos:

• Global drama: Russia, Israel, and a pinch of geopolitical tension. 🌍

• Bitcoin ETFs playing the inflow-and-outflow game like they’re doing the hokey pokey. 🔄

• The U.S. economy? It’s giving more mixed messages than a teenager’s TikTok feed. 📱

And then, Fed Chair Jerome Powell drops a cryptic hint, saying:

Economists are decoding this like it’s the next big Dan Brown novel and concluding that rate cuts are on the way. 🕵️‍♂️

Meanwhile, the Trump campaign just got a boost from RFK dropping out in swing states to give Bitcoin-loving Trump a leg up. Meanwhile, Harris seems to be switching gears from her earlier pro-crypto stance and is now on a mission to tax our memes… err, crypto gains. 💸

Where are we heading then?

With rate cuts and fresh Fed liquidity on the horizon, it feels like we’re loading up for something big.

Two of the Big 6 banks are already selling Bitcoin ETFs, and the rest are expected to jump in soon.

Bitcoin at the $60k threshold seems to be the new battleground. Above $60k and it’s bull market euphoria, below and we’re back to doomscrolling.

If the past 4-year cycles teach us anything, we're still early in this cycle - so hold tight, as always it will be a wild ride ahead! 🚀

1. Telegram CEO Indicted in France: Pavel Durov, founder of Telegram, has been indicted by a French court on charges including enabling illicit transactions and failing to assist in investigations. Durov, under judicial supervision, cannot leave France, and his indictment has caused significant drops in the value of Toncoin.

2. Russia Moving towards Dedollarization via Crypto: Russia plans to open two crypto exchanges to facilitate international trade, aiming to bypass economic sanctions. This will begin their move away from the US Dollar, with the intent to promote BRICS currencies instead.

3. Solo Bitcoin Miner Scores $199k: A solo Bitcoin miner with a hefty 38 PH/s setup hit the jackpot, earning $199,098 by successfully mining a block where the odds based on his Osetup would approximate a successfully mined block every 4 months. The rare win highlights the unpredictable nature of Bitcoin mining, where even smaller miners can occasionally reap massive rewards.

4. Largest Bitcoin ETFs Hold 3% of All Bitcoin: BlackRock and Grayscale's Bitcoin ETFs have collectively accumulated nearly 3% of all circulating Bitcoin, highlighting a growing trend of institutional interest in crypto. As these ETFs continue to gather assets, they are becoming significant players in the Bitcoin market, with the potential to impact liquidity and price dynamics.

5. Kraken to Face SEC Lawsuit, Judge Rules: A judge has rejected Kraken’s bid to dismiss the SEC’s lawsuit, which alleges it offered unregistered securities through its staking program. The decision signals ongoing regulatory scrutiny in the U.S. crypto sector and could have broader implications for staking services across the industry.

6. Celsius Distributes $2.53 Billion to Creditors: Celsius has distributed 93% of the $2.73 billion owed to creditors, but about 121,000 creditors have yet to claim their share due to procedural complexities. Additionally, some funds have been allocated to create a new Bitcoin mining company, Ionic Digital, as part of Celsius’ reorganization plan.

7. MakerDAO Rebrands to Sky for a New Era of Decentralization: MakerDAO's rebrand to Sky aims to enhance decentralization, boost token rewards, and offer better savings rates with its new USDS stablecoin. This move marks a shift towards more sustainable governance and innovative features, setting the stage for an upgraded DeFi ecosystem.

The Naughty List

Telegram and OpenSea Under Scrutiny 👀

Telegram’s founder Pavel Durov was detained in France after his jet landed for refueling, allegedly due to Telegram’s lack of content moderation and refusal to share user data.

French authorities are holding Durov accountable for any criminal activity on the platform, which could set a new precedent for liability among platform owners - watch out, Zuck and Musk!

Many worry that this case could push messaging apps closer to building backdoors to comply with law enforcement demands. 🚨

Also this week, the SEC has issued a Wells notice to OpenSea, putting the NFT marketplace on notice. While most NFTs are not considered securities, fractionalized NFTs that engage in profit sharing, listed on the platform may be a different story.

At least the SEC won't have an easy time calling Trump’s new NFTs securities! After all, they’re just digital collectibles where you buy 15 and get a piece of the suit he wore in the Biden debate, or buy 75 for a gala dinner with the man himself! 🕺 All sold with the charm of a late-night infomercial that makes you want to shout, “But wait, there’s more!” 📺

And talk about bad timing - NFT trading volumes have plummeted and OpenSea’s market share has shrunk to just 10% of what it once was. With floor prices of many big name collections at all-time lows, it seems like the NFT party might be over…at least for now. 📉

Wholesome Crypto Fun

Big thanks for making it to the end of this week’s Hodl Report! 👊

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Happy Friday!

Disclaimer: The content from Hodl Report should not be taken as trading, investment or financial advice or solicitation to buy or sell any assets. This newsletter is for informational and educational purposes only. Please be careful out there and DYOR (do your own research).