Tariff Chaos, Market Chops, and Smart Money Stacks BTC
Is this the last chance to stack cheap? Markets dropped post-tariffs, altcoins bled, but corporate giants like GameStop and Strategy bought billions in Bitcoin.
Welcome back, Token Titans!
You’re reading The Hodl Report, where the insights are piping hot and served with a side of hopium. 🌶️📈
This week we are diving into:
🌐Tariffs vs. Crypto: Trump’s moves and market vibes
📉 Price Check: Where are we heading?
🌍 Adoption Update: Who’s joining team blockchain?
📰 Big News, No Fluff
😂 Meme Therapy Included
Let’s ride. 🚀

Could RYSE be the next Ring?
Venture capitalists know how difficult it is to spot early investment opportunities – just ask the Sharks from Shark Tank. They passed on Ring at just $700,000, only to watch it sell to Amazon for $1.2B – a 1700x return missed.
Now, there’s a new smart home start-up following the same blueprint: meet RYSE.
The founder pitched on Canada’s Shark Tank, secured two offers, and now their patented smart shades are sold in 127 Best Buy stores, Amazon and Walmart – with Home Depot launching in 2025.
Ring used retail expansion to dominate smart security. RYSE is using the same playbook to disrupt the smart shade market inside the 158B smart home industry.
Past performance is not indicative of future results. Email may contain forward-looking statements. See US Offering for details. Informational purposes only.


Liberation Day Recap: Tariffs for Everyone! 🎁
Well folks, Liberation Day came and went.
While the market didn’t implode, the tariff drama definitely gave it a shake.
Trump’s press conference?
Basically an Oprah giveaway episode but for import taxes:
You get a tariff! And YOU get a tariff! Look under your seat…EVERYONE gets a tariff! 📣
So what actually happened?
🧾 Tariff TL;DR
10% baseline tariff on all imported goods.
Reciprocal tariffs of 20–50% on ~60 countries deemed the “worst offenders.” Full list here and of note:
China hit with 34%
EU slapped with 20%
25% tariff on foreign-made vehicles
Closed loopholes for Chinese goods under $800 (RIP, cheap AliExpress hauls)
Meanwhile, Canada, Mexico, and Russia are off the “general tariff buffet” and getting more custom-tailored trade restrictions. 🫰
How luxurious.
🧠 Trump’s Pitch: More Jobs, More Cash, Less Debt
Trump has surrounded himself with a team of super intelligent finance and corporate titans who have achieved greatness in their own right and have now opted to leave their yachts and boardrooms to serve America.
They say tariffs are about:
Leveling the playing field for U.S. workers
Boosting gov revenue through import taxes
Giving foreign companies a big reason to invest and build in America
The critics?
You know them well - they’re the career politicians, not the successful business titans. They’re the same folks who told us Biden was “sharp as a tack”.
And now?
Obviously they’re against Trump’s tariff plan and instead they want us to trust their economic hot takes. 🤔
Regardless of where you land on Tariffs, one thing is clear:
No tariffs if you build in America.
No tariffs if you buy American.
And that's the whole point - protect U.S. industries, create American jobs and raise the revenue to start paying down this crazy national debt.
But What Does This Mean for Crypto?
Glad you asked.
Let’s remember that this isn’t a political newsletter.
It’s a make-sure-your-portfolio-survives-the-chaos kind of newsletter.
And all this trade war noise?
It absolutely impacts crypto prices.
Because tariffs → economic uncertainty → market volatility → risk-off behavior
But long-term?
Protectionist policies + inflation + dollar stress = a stronger case for Bitcoin and digital assets.
What does this mean in the short term for crypto prices? 👇

In case you missed Tuesday’s banger of a trading email, we launched our Pro Tier subscription!
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🔮 Market Insights – Bitcoin, altcoins, sentiment shifts - all decoded

Markets Dropped, Altcoins Got Smacked, and We’re Still Sitting on Dry Powder 💥💰
Right after the Liberation Day tariff details dropped, both stocks and crypto took a hit.
And since crypto is currently riding shotgun with the stock market, everything dipped in sync.
Even worse?
Bitcoin dominance climbed while total crypto market cap dropped.
That’s the double whammy altcoins fear the most.
RIP to your favorite low-cap plays (for now). 🪦
We’re still on the sidelines, bags zipped, dry powder ready. Just waiting for that perfect cocktail of:
Peak doom and gloom
Ultra low Fear & Greed Index
"Crypto is dead" vibes
Positive macro signals
But most importantly…rising liquidity.
That’s when we back up the truck and hit BUY.
Speaking of liquidity, this is the thesis we’re watching most closely right now.
Bitcoin and crypto prices follow M2 liquidity trends 108 days later.
So, we are looking at the run to resume in about 30 days.
As they say in the Cayman Islands…soon come. 🏝️📈

Corporate Bitcoin Buyers Are Back and Buying BIG 🏢🟠
The past week has been absolutely bonkers for corporate Bitcoin adoption. The whales aren’t just circling - they’re diving in headfirst.
Here's who’s been buying while the market freaks out:
🐸 GameStop
They’re not playing games. After announcing a Bitcoin treasury strategy and a $1.3B convertible note raise last week, they already closed it, and oversubscribed it. Total raised? $1.5 billion now aimed straight at Bitcoin. Power to the Players, indeed. 🎮
💵 Tether
In Q1, they scooped up 8,888 BTC for $735M, bringing their total stash to 92.6K coins. No audit jokes here - they’re stacking.
🏯 Metaplanet
This Japanese firm added 856 BTC this week, pushing their total to 4,206 BTC with an average price of $86.5K. Clean number, spicy entry.
⛏️ Marathon Digital
Filed plans with the SEC for a $2B stock offering, with Bitcoin buys explicitly on the menu. Already the #2 public BTC holder at 46K coins, and about to level up.
🧠 Strategy
Saylor dropped another 22K BTC purchase for $1.92B on Monday - at an average price of $86K. Their total stack? A monster 528K BTC at a $67K average cost basis. That’s not buying the dip, that’s buying the planet.
What are these corporate whales seeing that retail isn’t?
Retail loves a good narrative to back up their excuses to not buy crypto.
TL;DR: While the normies scream “overbought,” the corporate giants are going full degen, but with way bigger wallets. 🐳

Hodl Headlines
The Week’s Most Interesting News
Bitcoin-Enhanced Treasury Bonds Could Be the Next Big Thing: A new proposal suggests blending Bitcoin with U.S. Treasury bonds to modernize sovereign finance. Advocates say it could attract crypto-native capital while maintaining traditional safety.
US Government to Reveal Bitcoin Holdings: The U.S. government plans to publicly disclose its Bitcoin holdings on April 5, 2025, in a transparency push amid growing scrutiny. Analysts expect a clearer picture of federal BTC reserves.
Coinbase Logs Worst Quarter Since FTX Collapse: Coinbase is coming off its toughest quarter since the FTX fallout, with revenues slipping and volumes down. Despite headwinds, the exchange remains optimistic about ETF-driven recovery.
Solana Meme Coins Enter Cooldown, Utility Tokens Rise: After a memecoin frenzy, Solana markets are shifting as utility tokens gain ground. Analysts suggest the change marks a maturing phase for the Solana ecosystem.
Circle Taps JPMorgan and Citi Ahead of IPO: Stablecoin giant Circle has enlisted JPMorgan and Citi to prepare for a planned IPO filing in late April. The USDC issuer could be the next major crypto company to go public.
Senator Ted Cruz Proposes Flare Act for Bitcoin Mining: Senator Ted Cruz has introduced the FLARE Act, aiming to repurpose flared natural gas for Bitcoin mining. The bill champions energy efficiency and crypto innovation in the U.S.
Bitcoin Mining’s Coal Usage Down 43% Since 2011: New research shows Bitcoin mining’s coal dependency has dropped 43% since 2011. Renewable energy now powers a growing share of the global hash rate.
Hut 8 and Eric Trump Launch Bitcoin Mining Firm: Hut 8 is teaming up with Eric Trump to launch a new U.S.-based Bitcoin mining venture. The firm will focus on regulatory-friendly, energy-efficient operations.
California’s ‘Bitcoin Rights’ Bill Gains Momentum: California has amended a bill to include Bitcoin rights protections, aiming to create a crypto-friendly legal framework. If passed, it could be a model for other U.S. states.
UAE to Launch CBDC in Q4 2025: The UAE will roll out its central bank digital currency (CBDC) in Q4 2025. The initiative is part of a broader push to modernize cross-border payments and digital finance.


Big thanks for making it to the end of this week’s Hodl Report! 👊
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Happy Friday!

Disclaimer: The content from Hodl Report should not be taken as trading, investment or financial advice or solicitation to buy or sell any assets. This newsletter is for informational and educational purposes only. Please be careful out there and DYOR (do your own research).